Great Expectations

With a new season of life comes great expectations. Expectations for the new joys life will hold and the new challenges that await. Expectations for what daily life will entail; what will change? What will remain the same?

Graduating college and moving across the country in the same month definitely gave us the opportunity to formulate great expectations. Prior to this great life change, I pictured myself at home all day every day while Josh worked and I studied for the NCLEX, lonely and despairing. I fully expected to be homesick nearly every day and starved for human contact by the time Josh came through the door at the end of the evening. I expected to be depressed and possibly even resentful for having to come here in the first place, desperate to return to the lives we left behind in Seattle. I certainly expected this move to take a huge toll on our marriage. We were making a huge adjustment, after all, transitioning from married-and-in-college to married-and-working-full-time. This meant adjusting how and when we spent time together, what stressors we faced, and even what relationships we have. I expected to feel entirely isolated being far away from our friends, family, and community we had come to rely on so much, and expected that Josh and I would struggle with everything from communication to being good friends to one another. I expected that he would enjoy work so much that when he came home to me, he would be entirely spent with nothing left to spare for me, leaving me feeling isolated and alone.

Josh had great expectations of his own. The first week we were here awaiting the arrival of our things and the beginning of his new job, he couldn't wait to get started! I couldn't believe how excited someone could be about work. But, if anyone could, it would by my Josh. He was eager to get into his new role, and had big ideas; great expectations. He expected to be great at his new job, the way he had been in his internship. He expected to transition relatively easily into the corporate world, though it may take a week or so to really understand the inter-workings of office life. He, too, expected to be pretty spent at the end of a work day, and anticipated having to make a valiant effort to come home and engage with me every night.

Perhaps what I have learned most so far in this journey, is that we don't always get what we expect. Great expectations can mean great disappointment, and great, unexpected joy. So, where did we end up with our expectations? Well, allow me to fill you in on our "reality."

Most surprisingly for Josh, work is incredibly difficult most days. The adjustment to working full time in an office has taken a toll on him. He is dealing with anxiety related to being the newest, and youngest person in the office. The adjustment to corporate life and this new position of leadership has been more involved than he expected. However, he is committed to continuing to do his job the best that he can, and is beginning to see more opportunities for creativity as he understands his position more and more.

Then there is me. I am finding a surprising amount of joy in being a homemaker. Sure, I have moments of painful homesickness and long for my friends and family to be near again, but it does not rule my life and thoughts. I have enjoyed getting to cook delicious meals, and have really loved getting to support Josh by keeping the house clean, and operations running smoothly. I love that because I can take care of things during the day, that when Josh comes home, we just get to spend time together, rather than taking care of administrative stuff and chores. I also recently got to enjoy the fruit of all my daily studying in taking and passing my NCLEX exam! I am really excited about being done with that, and am now looking at finding a job. This comes with new anxieties/expectations, but that's a whole other story.

Then there is us. Praise God that our expectations for what this move would do to our marriage have been completely wrong. We have been experiencing such blessing in our marriage like never before. We are truly able to view the other as our best friend, and have so enjoyed getting to see and feel our friendship grow the more time we get to spend together. We are laughing a lot, creating and sharing a lot of new inside jokes, and enjoying relaxing together. Beyond just having fun and taking a lot of joy in each other, we are growing a ton in our trust of one another.

Rather than becoming distant and fending for ourselves, we are seeing each other as our biggest confidants. Josh is able to share with me his struggles and triumphs in work, and we have been able to talk through a lot of difficulties that have arisen in this transition. We are able to talk about what we miss about Seattle, and rejoice about what has been great about Chicago. We are communicating often and in the most effective way  ever in our baby marriage. According to Josh, I have been a great encouragement and support to him as he gets used to working. For me, Josh has been my biggest supporter in all my studying, testing, and even homemaking. He says "thank-you" for all the little things I do, and truly appreciates the help I can give by being a homemaker. I have found myself being so thankful each day that we got to come here together. I am praising God for what a gift my husband is, and what a blessing marriage is.

Most of all, I am thankful that our great expectations can never compare to what God's great plans entail. Thank God that he doesn't base His plans on what we think we should do, or how we expect to feel. So, we are rejoicing in new opportunities to trust in Jesus with the things that are difficult, and are praising Him for the blessings He is pouring out on us in this new stage.