Trust Me, I'm a Nurse

According to my employee profile, I have now been working for two months and two days. Break out the confetti! Just kidding, but for real. These two months (and two days) have been nuts. Emotions, schedules, changes, visitors, and the like.

On the work front, I am learning a TON...still. I am now officially an independent nurse, which means I no longer have another nurse working alongside me. I take all of my own patients (which is usually 5-6) and manage all of their care myself. This has actually been really good so far. I enjoy getting to plan out my day in a way that works for me without having to check with another person all the time. Plus, my coworkers are still so supportive and will help anytime I ask. This is a huge blessing as not all places/people are like this, and all my coworkers are very busy, but they still always take the time to help me out if I ask. I am adjusting to the flow of my floor and am getting to know the doctors, therapists, and social workers that regularly take care of patients on our floor, which really helps. I am beginning to feel more confident in my skills and clinical judgement as a nurse.

What has been the most difficult is dealing with the emotional and spiritual side of working. The technical side is coming along and will continue to develop, but what I most often struggle with is all the other stuff. What I have noticed most lately is how much I hope in relief. When I wake up in the morning, it starts. I begin promising myself that if I'm still tired when I get home, I can take a nap. And, even if I can't then at least I have a day/weekend off soon. I negotiate with myself and make promises that relief will come when work ceases. As I try to fulfill these promises and feed my own craving for comfort, I am realizing more and more how empty this is. When I spend a day trying to gorge myself on whatever comfort is appealing, I end up more exhausted and empty than before.

The problem is, when my hope and joy is wrapped up in my own comfort, I will never be satisfied. I will always crave more and more, and it will be ever more fleeting. What I need is something solid to put my hope in. Something that regardless of my situation, whether I am working 6 days in a row with no break, or I am on vacation for two weeks, will remain steadfast and unfailing. The good news, and the truth is in Matthew 11. Jesus says,

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Mt 11: 28-30)

Jesus is the one who provides rest; not me, not my couch, not my nap. I am learning that all these things can be restful, but only when my hope does not depend on them. If I am hoping in Jesus, that He has given me a new heart, mind, and life, then I am free to rest from the work of trying to make myself better. I am free to actually enjoy the good things He has given me to do, including both work and rest. 

I am learning this the hard way. I have many days that I selfishly seek after my own comfort. I decide what is going to be restful (watching tv, taking a nap, going shopping, eating delicious food, etc) and I pursue it. But, at the end of the day I always end up disappointed and dissatisfied. However, I can do the same activities, but if my heart is ultimately resting in Jesus and my hope is in Him, then I can be completely satisfied because Jesus remains far longer than any episode of Parks and Rec. This is something I am praying about daily and struggling with constantly. I am praying to be grown and matured to desire relationship with Jesus beyond my own comfort and to put my hope in Him rather than in fleeting relief from toil. 

So, that's the reality of work for me right now. I am really thankful to be learning all that I am right now, even though it can be exhausting. I am thankful that Jesus has given me a safe and secure place to put my hope in, even when I don't believe it. 

"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:1-5

Everybody's Working for the Weekend

Wheeeew....

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind to say the least. I will try to provide a brief recap of what's been going on lately!

I started working just over a month ago. I began with classroom orientation learning policies and procedures, and being tested on my medication calculation and EKG interpretation skills. The first week was exciting for me; to finally be making money and to be on my way to really being a nurse!

The next week I started on my floor and have been there ever since. My schedule varies a lot, but I am working about 35-40 hours a week right now. I have been learning so much from my two preceptors who are wonderful nurses and patient teachers. I am getting really good experience and am learning to enjoy the unpredictability of each day. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am working on an Adult Medical/Surgical unit, which means anything goes! I have cared for a patient as young as 25 and one as old as 101! My average patient is probably 80 or older. I have gotten to care for patients with a variety of diagnoses from asthma exacerbations to wound infections, and dehydration to chest pain. Some of my patients are very independent, while others require feeding through tubes in their stomachs, bladder and bowel catheters, and sometimes even tracheotomies. I am learning not only how to care for these kinds of patients, but also how to multitask and manage my time as I care for up to 6 patients at once. And, starting next week, I will be doing all of this independently as a full-blown nurse. This means no more preceptors, and no one watching my back to make sure I'm doing everything right! Yikes.

Overall, I am enjoying my new job. Learning all the technical aspects of computer documentation, communication with doctors, specialists, and other nurses, and how to use various equipment is incredibly overwhelming and frustrating at times. But, slowly and surely, I am learning. Where my passion truly lies is with my patients, and that is what makes me love my job. Some nurses are great at the technical aspects and enjoy being challenged by complicated diagnoses and new situations. For me, my love of nursing comes from making a patient and their family feel loved, cared for, and heard. I am thankful that I get the opportunity to do this every day. I am absolutely terrified about being on my own; the mistakes I will make, the things I will forget, and the times I will be reprimanded. I am still very much adjusting to work being the norm. It is strange and difficult to have to work every other weekend when Josh is at home, and for me to be at home sometimes when he is at work. I am thankful that Josh is so supportive and such a great listener when I come home in tears about the stress of the day. I am thankful that even though we are struggling to create a new normal yet again, that we get to do it together.

So, those are my crazy, disjointed, one-day-off-this-week thoughts. I will try to update again shortly to let you know how being a full fledged nurse is going!

Here is a bonus pic of me on my first day!

Big Changes are Afoot

Tomorrow marks 5 months since we first set foot in the windy city. Time has absolutely flown by, and I can't believe we have spent almost half of a year here! We are really settling in now, and making this city really feel like home. However, we have some big changes coming up!

I'm writing today on what is the last day of my unemployment! Since graduating in June, I have had the longest break from school and/or work in my entire life! The whole 5 months we have been here, I have been unemployed and being a homemaker. It has been a wonderful break, but I am looking forward to a change of pace. As I mentioned in the last blog, I have been able to use the weeks leading up to my job starting to get our house in ship-shape and prepare some meals in case work life becomes too crazy to cook.  I really can't believe that this is the last day before I will officially begin working as a nurse! You can look forward to some crazy (and likely gross) stories ahead. 

So, Monday I will begin orientation. I will spend the first week, Monday through Friday from 8-5 in a classroom learning hospital policies, reviewing nursing skills, and learning the computer charting program. After this initial week, I will begin working on my actual unit alongside another experienced RN. I will be paired up with my preceptor for 6-8 weeks to complete my orientation, and then I will be on my own with my own patient load as an independent RN! I am really excited to get back in the game, be around patients again, and learn a TON. I hope my brain is ready for overload! 

All in all, I am very excited about this new season of life. I am also most definitely nervous for all the change that is ahead. I am nervous about being able to keep up with all there is to learn in this new job. I am nervous about the unit culture--what my coworkers, patients, and manager will be like. I am nervous about being able to maintain our home as well as I would like to while working full-time. I am excited to see how Josh and my relationship changes yet again during this new stage. I am excited to be back in a hospital, using my brain, and doing what I love and have prepared for for years. I am excited to be challenged and forced to grow and adapt. I am excited for a PAYCHECK to begin paying off loans and saving for the future! 

So, there you have it. My final thoughts before joining the working real world. You best believe I will be updating as soon as I can after I start my job! Happy Friday!

Change of Pace

Hey everyone!

Today I'm going to switch it up a bit with some recipes! With 3 weeks until my job starts, I am trying to do a lot of preparation to help ease the transition. I love the idea of making things in advance and freezing them for later to keep every-day life simpler. So, if you need some ideas for nutritious homemade food that is freezer friendly, look no further!

Muffins are a favorite in our house. Josh likes simple breakfasts that are easy to eat on the way to work, and so I made a double batch of these Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins and froze them. To make it even more hassle-free, I froze the amount we would need each week in separate bags so they can be thawed one week at a time. What I love about this recipe is that it uses whole wheat flour, contains no butter, very little sugar, and uses yogurt and applesauce to get a naturally sweet, smooth consistency.This recipe is very forgiving, and you can make several adaptations, including using all of one type of flour, or using more/less white or wheat flour. You could add nuts if you want, and if you are really bold, you could try substituting the oil with applesauce.

Banana Chocolate Chip Muffins

Ingredients:

1 C all-purpose flour

3/4 C whole wheat flour

1/2 C sugar

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 tsp salt

1 egg

1/4 C vegetable oil

1/4 C applesauce

1/2 C plain (or vanilla) yogurt

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 C mashed ripe bananas

2/3 C semisweet chocolate chips

Directions:

1.Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

2. In a separate bowl, use an electric mixer to combine egg, oil, yogurt, applesauce, and vanilla

3. Stir the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients just until moistened

4. Fold in bananas and chocolate chips and mix until combined

5. Fill greased muffin tins 2/3 full and bake for 22-25 min.

In addition to muffins, I have made lots of soups and entrees for easy heat-up if/when I get busy with work and don't have time to cook. I had a whole bunch of baby portabella mushrooms from Costco, so I decided to make some mushroom stroganoff. I froze just the sauce, and when we thaw it, we will cook some pasta to serve it over. I recommend using Ziploc freezer bags and laying them flat to freeze, and then storing them vertically once frozen completely. This method allows for easier storage, and much quicker thawing. Simply put the frozen bag into a warm water bath and it will thaw quickly!

The recipe I used is from my all-time favorite recipe blog, Skinny Taste. The creator has wonderful recipes made from scratch, and includes all the nutrition information. She also "lightens up" a lot of classic and family favorite recipes...check it out!

Click here for the stroganoff recipe!

That's all for today, but if you like recipes, I'll post some more soon! 

At Last...

As you may know from recent facebook publications, I am officially EMPLOYED. This is pretty much what I have felt like doing since Monday.

I though ya'll might appreciate some more details about what I'm going to be doing. First of all, I still can't believe this is happening...I am so excited! Okay, so about 3 weeks ago, I got called in for an interview at  Swedish Covenant Hospital. I had been applying for jobs for nearly 3 months, and this was the first phone call and interview I had ever gotten! So, I spent hours praying and preparing for whatever might come my way. The interview was much different than I expected, and ended up being mostly informational. I enjoyed getting to learn about the floor and the hospital, and was somewhat relieved that I did not have to answer a series of tricky questions. But, I left feeling very unsure about the outcome.

Two weeks passed, and I had kind of begun to move on to other prospects. It's not that I didn't want the job at Swedish, I just needed to get excited about something else because it was looking less likely that I would get to work there. But, lo and behold, last Wednesday while watching the Devil Wears Prada with my dear friend Becky, I got a call back! They asked permission to check my references and background and move me along in the hiring process. Such. Sweet. Words. I was so excited!

So I waited anxiously through the weekend and kept my phone by my side every  minute on Monday and the call finally came! I was officially offered a full-time RN position on AP5 that is day shift/evening shift rotating beginning on December 3. Let me explain why each of this tid-bits is a HUGE DEAL.

1. RN--I'm a nurse! That's just still exciting to me, and I can't wait to finally get to practice as a nurse.
2. Full-Time: the position was originally posted for part time (20 hrs a week) and now is up to 32 hours/week! This will give me more time to learn well, and more money for us to begin paying off our debt!
3. AP5 (Stands for Anderson Pavillion, 5th floor): This is a general Medical/Surgical (and a little bit of Oncology) unit. This is great for a new nurse like me because Med/Surg (as we call it) provides a great broad base for nursing. I will learn lots of technical skills while getting to care for a wide variety of patients/diagnoses. It is the perfect place to begin a career because from here, I can choose to specialize in any type of nursing that interests me, or remain a general clinician in Med/Surg. The possibilities are endless!
4. Day/Evening Shift: HALLELUJAH people! This means NO NIGHT SHIFT. I will be working 8 hour shifts that are either 7am-3pm or 3pm-11pm. I am not sure how they will rotate it; if I could work either shift in the same week, or if it will be a few weeks on days, a few weeks on evenings. I don't really care because I will get to be awake and sleep like a normal human! This is a huge blessing as it is very unlikely for a  new nurse to get this kind of schedule.
5. December 3: This gives me almost a whole month before being a grown up. It gives me time to let the idea of working sink in, and to prepare by making freezer meals, organizing, and cleaning. Also, (huge provision here), our loan repayment begins in December. This means we will have enough money to pay more than just the minimum payment, which will allow us to pay it off faster. Yay!

All in all, I just feel really cared for and provided for by the Lord. I feel loved that He let me wait for the right fit of a job, and gave Josh and I time to adjust to Chicago before having to jump into work. I feel provided for in the schedule and pay that I will be receiving and the very minimal commute to a great hospital. I just am really excited to be taking this next step in life, and beginning my career as an RN! Join Josh and I in praying as we make this big shift into both working full-time. Pray that we would find new ways to love and care for each other well. Pray that we would have JOY at all the Lord has done and is doing!

Long Time, No Post!

Hey Ya'll,

It's been so long since I have posted any sort of update on here! There are several reasons for this.
1. For a long time, I didn't feel like anything had changed enough to make it worthy of an update
2. We had a TON of visitors in the last 2 months (yay!)
But, now I feel like I should fill you in on what's been going on, so I'll do my best to give you a fly-by!

Visitors:

Like I said, we have had lots of visitors lately which has been AMAZING. First, my two best friends from SU visited at the beginning of September. This was a huge deal to me for several reasons. For starters, they are poor college students/church interns, and decided to spend their precious, hard-earned cash to come visit us! Secondly, I hadn't seen them in 3 months, which is way too long. It was so fun to have them here! We jammed as much as we could into the 4 days that they had here. We all the best tourist-y (and free) things to do in Chicago like the Lincoln Park Zoo, visiting the bean at Millennium Park, walking around the Magnificent Mile, and going to Navy Pier. We also spent time at the beach, ate a lot of good food, and best of all, got to spend lots of time chatting and catching up on life. Here are some of my favorite pictures from their visit here!

Enjoying the sunshine in Millennium Park!

Meeting Josh after work

Seeing the bean!

Two weeks later, my cousin Brian and his wife Rebecca came to visit! Brian is a Notre Dame alum and they came to go to a big ND game in South Bend, Indiana which is about 2 hours from Chi. This was awesome for us, because they decided to stay with us before the big game! We had so much fun eating deep dish pizza with them for the first time, and bringing them to some of our favorite local spots. It made me really happy to have family around, especially family that I don't often get to spend 1 on 1 time with. I'm hoping they decide to make it a yearly tradition! Here is a picture of us enjoying our night together!

Enjoying a beer at our favorite local spot, Reservoir

Two weeks after they left, my parents came for a visit! Now this was a really big deal for me because my mom made their plane reservations the DAY we moved to Chicago. This meant that I had been looking forward to this visit literally since we got here. I was like a giddy little kid waiting for them to arrive. When I finally saw them and hugged them, I could have just burst with happiness, and rightfully so, since it had been 4 months since I had last seen them. They stayed with us for a whole week, and we did our very best to make every waking minute count.

 We ate amazing food (both my dad and I cooked, and we went to a variety of delicious local restaurants), saw many of the famous Chicago sites and museums, and did lots of shopping/exploring. My mom and I were even able to squeeze in a DIY project, and both my parents helped me fix odds and ends around our apartment (thank you!!). My mom always says that when all of her kids are  at home she sleeps best because all of her "people" are close by and safe. That's how I felt when they were here, except I didn't want to sleep because then I would miss time with them! Needless to say, it was so good for my heart to have them here. So much so, that I was crushed when they left. This year will be the first year that my family will be scattered during the holidays, and we don't know the next time we will get to see each other (sob). So, for now, skype will have to suffice! Again, here are some favorite shots of our week!

Seeing Josh's office, walking by the water, watching the UW game!

Watching the UW game, Standing outside the Art Institute, Walking along Lake Michigan!

Eating AMAZING greek food in Greek Town!

Standing outside the Zoo

In other news, not much has changed. We are still in a huge adjustment period. We are still amazed at how much this move has grown our marriage and brought us together as better friends than ever before. And, we are still amazed at how challenging it is to adjust to this new life stage, new city, and new "normal". The good news is that this whole experience is teaching us more and more what it means to trust Jesus. We are learning  to trust Him with our fears, our hopes, and our plans for the future. 

I personally am learning how to trust Him in absolute uncertainty and in waiting. I am still avidly searching for a job, and I can get very weary after looking for 2 months with hardly any response. I am having to constantly remind myself that Jesus knows when and where and how I will get a job. I am also having to remind myself what a blessing it is to be at home during this time, and am praying often to be able to enjoy it, and to have purpose in the waiting. It is so easy to continue to look ahead to what is next, what goal is out in front of me, and how will I get there. It is much harder to just be fully present and completely content in where I am right at this moment. I am often consumed with a future me who will be content in X job making X amount of money in X amount of time. Lately, I am praying to be fully satisfied and content in Jesus, regardless of my circumstances. I am praying to have utmost joy in the now, rather than banking on joy in future circumstances. 

So, that's where we've been for the past 2 months! Thanks for checking in and for thinking about, praying for, and encouraging us along this journey!

Great Expectations

With a new season of life comes great expectations. Expectations for the new joys life will hold and the new challenges that await. Expectations for what daily life will entail; what will change? What will remain the same?

Graduating college and moving across the country in the same month definitely gave us the opportunity to formulate great expectations. Prior to this great life change, I pictured myself at home all day every day while Josh worked and I studied for the NCLEX, lonely and despairing. I fully expected to be homesick nearly every day and starved for human contact by the time Josh came through the door at the end of the evening. I expected to be depressed and possibly even resentful for having to come here in the first place, desperate to return to the lives we left behind in Seattle. I certainly expected this move to take a huge toll on our marriage. We were making a huge adjustment, after all, transitioning from married-and-in-college to married-and-working-full-time. This meant adjusting how and when we spent time together, what stressors we faced, and even what relationships we have. I expected to feel entirely isolated being far away from our friends, family, and community we had come to rely on so much, and expected that Josh and I would struggle with everything from communication to being good friends to one another. I expected that he would enjoy work so much that when he came home to me, he would be entirely spent with nothing left to spare for me, leaving me feeling isolated and alone.

Josh had great expectations of his own. The first week we were here awaiting the arrival of our things and the beginning of his new job, he couldn't wait to get started! I couldn't believe how excited someone could be about work. But, if anyone could, it would by my Josh. He was eager to get into his new role, and had big ideas; great expectations. He expected to be great at his new job, the way he had been in his internship. He expected to transition relatively easily into the corporate world, though it may take a week or so to really understand the inter-workings of office life. He, too, expected to be pretty spent at the end of a work day, and anticipated having to make a valiant effort to come home and engage with me every night.

Perhaps what I have learned most so far in this journey, is that we don't always get what we expect. Great expectations can mean great disappointment, and great, unexpected joy. So, where did we end up with our expectations? Well, allow me to fill you in on our "reality."

Most surprisingly for Josh, work is incredibly difficult most days. The adjustment to working full time in an office has taken a toll on him. He is dealing with anxiety related to being the newest, and youngest person in the office. The adjustment to corporate life and this new position of leadership has been more involved than he expected. However, he is committed to continuing to do his job the best that he can, and is beginning to see more opportunities for creativity as he understands his position more and more.

Then there is me. I am finding a surprising amount of joy in being a homemaker. Sure, I have moments of painful homesickness and long for my friends and family to be near again, but it does not rule my life and thoughts. I have enjoyed getting to cook delicious meals, and have really loved getting to support Josh by keeping the house clean, and operations running smoothly. I love that because I can take care of things during the day, that when Josh comes home, we just get to spend time together, rather than taking care of administrative stuff and chores. I also recently got to enjoy the fruit of all my daily studying in taking and passing my NCLEX exam! I am really excited about being done with that, and am now looking at finding a job. This comes with new anxieties/expectations, but that's a whole other story.

Then there is us. Praise God that our expectations for what this move would do to our marriage have been completely wrong. We have been experiencing such blessing in our marriage like never before. We are truly able to view the other as our best friend, and have so enjoyed getting to see and feel our friendship grow the more time we get to spend together. We are laughing a lot, creating and sharing a lot of new inside jokes, and enjoying relaxing together. Beyond just having fun and taking a lot of joy in each other, we are growing a ton in our trust of one another.

Rather than becoming distant and fending for ourselves, we are seeing each other as our biggest confidants. Josh is able to share with me his struggles and triumphs in work, and we have been able to talk through a lot of difficulties that have arisen in this transition. We are able to talk about what we miss about Seattle, and rejoice about what has been great about Chicago. We are communicating often and in the most effective way  ever in our baby marriage. According to Josh, I have been a great encouragement and support to him as he gets used to working. For me, Josh has been my biggest supporter in all my studying, testing, and even homemaking. He says "thank-you" for all the little things I do, and truly appreciates the help I can give by being a homemaker. I have found myself being so thankful each day that we got to come here together. I am praising God for what a gift my husband is, and what a blessing marriage is.

Most of all, I am thankful that our great expectations can never compare to what God's great plans entail. Thank God that he doesn't base His plans on what we think we should do, or how we expect to feel. So, we are rejoicing in new opportunities to trust in Jesus with the things that are difficult, and are praising Him for the blessings He is pouring out on us in this new stage.